A little girl is born

Her parents are disappointed

She is not the male child they hoped for

Her parents are Chinese

Chinese males have been the preferred sex up until 2015 when the one child policy was overturned. The policy only allowed families to have one child. A male was preferred. Girls were considered a waste because they leave their families to live with their husband’s.

Boys carry on the family line, caring for elderly parents, and earning money.

Favoring boys over girls has created a disparity. Female babies were abandoned, placed in orphanages, aborted, or killed as babies. With the introduction of sonograms, it was easier to find out the sex before the baby was born. Sex selective abortions for those who wanted males instead of females resulted in a population of 118 males for 100 females. By 2030 more than a ¼ of Chinese men in their 30s will not be married

Chinese males are now experiencing difficulty in finding wives. They must have at least $16,400 dollars to pay the parents of his future wife as a dowry. Chinese young women require that their future husbands provide them with a house and a car. City girls don’t want to marry rural men. A decent level of financial security is needed before finding a wife. Chinese men who don’t have a good job don’t stand a chance.

A Chinese female has the power to be choosy. She only chooses the best and has a list of requirements. She wants a husband who has no brothers and parents who are alive and healthy. She needs them for babysitting purposes. Her mother wants the suitor to provide a house before any further discussion.

It is much more difficult for men from rural areas to find a wife. They are insufficiently educated, too poor, and don’t possess property in a big city such as Beijing.

Chinese young girls leave the rural areas to live in the city. They don’t want to live and work on farms. It is dirty and too much work. No shopping malls or coffee shops. This situation causes rural Chinese men to buy women from neighboring poorer countries. They can pay a bride price which is much smaller. The family of the foreign women, Cambodian, Vietnamese, receives a sufficient amount to keep their family fed and housed. Life is better for them economically in China. The problem they run into is communication and customs.

“Shengnan” is a Chinese word used for “leftover men” over forty who can’t find wives. Older men are seeking younger women, sometimes ten to twenty years younger.

Rich men spend a lot of money on creative, sometimes unsuccessful measures to win a woman over. They hire Love Hunters. Women paid to hunt down women that might fit the needs for men who are millionaires. They go to malls, coffee shops, and restaurants. They check out their shopping habits, their looks, and overall their manners. When a Love Hunter thinks she has a catch, she walks up to the girls and asks for her information. The girl and the hunter meet each other to see if they match up. Young generations are following their hearts and money rather than the traditional ways of their parents.

Women are eager to get married before being labeled as “unwanted girls”. Unwanted girls usually fall into the category of educated and independent. Parents face social criticism if the daughter is not married before the age of 20. Women are accused of not fulfilling their “duty to the nation” if they don’t get married and have children.

Confucian belief:

A woman must be subordinate to her father as a child, her husband as a wife, and her son in her “dotage”

There are 18 million Chinese men who can’t find wives. Educated Chinese women are looking for men in foreign countries to marry and live with happily ever after.

Moral of the story: Never fool around with Mother Nature. She will come back right at you!

Written by

I am a retired ESL instructor. I am on a journey which includes writing, blogging, taking photos, and getting to know other cultures.

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